Alcoholic Father's Secret Gift

(c) Beverly Hubble Tauke, Author
Healing Your Family Tree
http://www.beverlytauke.com/

In her mid-twenties, Diane was a beautiful young environmental scientist jetting around America’s ports as a civilian with the U.S. Coast Guard. I was a press secretary plunging into the intriguing world of Capitol Hill media relations. We shared apartments before and after my two years teaching in Africa. She served as a bridesmaid in my wedding, and husbands delivered children into our lives. Decades came and went.

We confided in each other of convoluted family histories, including my great-grandfather, Billy Hubble. Hubble...hmmmm.... Yes, he was a distant cousin of the brilliant astronomer, Edwin P. Hubble, of space telescope fame. Nestled among numerous superstar Hubbles of his era, the wayward Billy went to his grave renowned for spectacular drunk driving crashes with his horse-drawn logging wagons--long before breatholizer alerts. By my count, fallout has trickled downline from alcoholic Billy for six generations now.

I knew early on that Diane’s life was impacted more directly by an addictive personality—that of her father, given to drink as was my own Billy. After the first edition of Healing Your Family Tree, a response came from Diane. Plunging into a new journey through family history, she had gained, it seems, a gift from the grave. The gift from her father was not new. But she finally saw what had been invisible in her mind's eye, but waiting all along to be embraced and cherished.

This was Diane's discovery: [The first edition of Healing Your Family Tree] "is life changing -- bringing relief for pain I have carried most of my life. Since childhood I have quietly mourned my father's life, which followed a very sad course and a tragic end. But I have always heard that 'every cloud has a silver lining,' and as I used this book to examine my orphaned father's childhood, I had an epiphany! I realized that my father's entrepreneurial spirit and extraordinary resourcefulness were born from his early need. Further, it was a cause for celebration because I have been told all of my life that one of my most helpful qualities at work and at home is my resourcefulness. So, that "silver lining" can be inherited. Thank God that this book's Plan for Transformation blessed me through a greater understanding."

As the author, I note candidly that the point is not the book. The point is the process of mining family history for unclaimed gold. Diane's epiphany can be a gift to others. Definitely, it's a gift to her children. Research shows that parents who make sense, find meaning, excavate gold out of whatever rubbish litters their histories are most likely to produce stabilized emotions and enriched relationships in their kids.

Pain can blind its victims to silver linings, leaving them twice-burnt. But as Diane discovered, secret treasures can be rescued out of difficult father relationships. What better time than now to excavate a richer emotional legacy, a soothing snuffer for cinders of the soul?